When parents share custody, they often need to see each other frequently. Some co-parents exchange custody multiple times per week. Each of those encounters is an opportunity for conflict.
The more conflict there is, the more stressful the situation becomes for the children. Adopting certain practices and reduce the likelihood of contentious disputes during custody exchanges. The three tips below can help keep custody handoffs as calm and peaceful as possible.
1. Let the children do the walking
Parents who feel the need to make a face-to-face exchange create opportunities for conflict. If children are old enough to get out of a vehicle and walk to another car or to a front door, parents can completely avoid face-to-face interactions. Letting children manage the actual transition can prevent unnecessary disputes.
2. Keep communication child-focused
When children are younger or when issues arise during parenting time, interactions may be necessary. In such cases, keeping the conversation focused solely on what is relevant to the children is of the utmost importance. Parents who start talking about personal matters during custody exchanges are more likely to end up embroiled in conflict with one another over their interpersonal issues.
3. Choose a neutral location
Whenever possible, selecting a custody exchange location that is convenient for everyone can reduce stress and conflict levels. People sometimes pick a park between the parents’ homes. Other times, they may pick a church or even a police station parking lot to ensure there are other people nearby to incentivize better behavior.
Making reasonable efforts to limit conflicts in a shared child custody arrangement is beneficial for everyone in a family. Parents who limit conflict with one another can co-parent more effectively and protect their children from the stress of familial disputes.