Discussing prenuptial agreements (prenups) with a partner is associated with negative feelings. Some people have attested that it feels like they are planning for a divorce before even the marriage starts. Nonetheless, a prenup can protect both parties. Further, many people have this agreement and have been married for years.
If you are thinking of informing your partner about a prenup, and don’t know how to go about it, here are three tips to help you:
1. Choose the right time
You cannot wait until the night before the wedding to talk about a prenup — that would put undue pressure on your partner. It’s best to have a frank discussion about your feelings even before you get engaged, if possible. If not, make sure that you bring it up long before the wedding planning starts.
2. Talk about how it will protect you both
Some people only mention their own concerns when talking about prenups, and this can make their partners upset. It can be helpful to discuss how it will also protect your partner. For instance, let them know that the agreement provides clarity on how assets and liabilities will be divided if a divorce does happen. Stress that you want both of you to walk away in a good position (and, hopefully, remain friends).
Further, it will be best to let your partner know the prenup is like buying an insurance policy for a ‘what if” situation. You are not planning for a divorce, but if it happens, you will be protected from stressful procedures.
3. Give them time to consider all options
Your partner may not agree to sign the prenup after your first discussion. Do not pressure them or use it to end the relationship. Give them time to think, and they may come around after researching and learning more about their own options.
Talking about prenuptial agreements can be uncomfortable, but they are necessary. Experienced legal guidance can help you make the right decisions.