Spouses are not legally required to communicate during a divorce, as conversations can be handled through attorneys and mediators. However, communicating with each other can make the process more manageable. If you are going through a divorce, and it’s possible to hold conversations with your spouse, consider doing so.
Below are a few tips to help you:
Choose a communication method
You and your spouse should agree on the mode of communication to use, such as in-person meetings, phone calls, texts, email or co-parenting apps. For instance, you can use emails for document exchanges and phone calls for emergencies. Note that written communication is vital for keeping a clear record.
Use the BIFF method
The BIFF method (brief, informative, friendly and firm) is a communication technique that works well among divorcing couples. Your conversations should be short, communicate facts or relevant details, have a polite and calm tone and set clear boundaries. Use this technique in all modes of communication, be it during a face-to-face discussion, on a phone call or when sending an email or text.
You can employ the BIFF method when discussing finances, co-parenting matters, schedule changes and so forth.
For example, if you notice a discrepancy in your spouse’s list of assets and liabilities, instead of asking, “Are you hiding money from me?” you can send an email saying, “Hello, I’m reviewing the financial disclosures, and I noticed that asset (name) was not listed. Please provide the documentation so it can be included by (date). Thank you.”
Take time before responding
Unless it’s an urgent matter, you don’t need to respond to messages immediately. Taking time allows you to provide thoughtful responses, especially when a message is hostile.
Spouses communicating during divorce can facilitate a smooth process. Obtain more information about other ways you can prevent conflicts with your soon-to-be ex-spouse.